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All reviews - Movies (74)


Posted : 8 years ago on 26 July 2014 01:55 (A review of Ocean's Twelve)

The thing about Steven Soderbergh is that he's a shitty overrated director, and you will never expect to be impressed while watching his movies, unless you're a shallow person who likes shitty movies.
Here it is........Ocean's Twelve was stupid and pointless.

The plot is really, really stupid (The crew has to return 97 million dollars to Terry Benedict.) that's it.........Seriously, that's the entire plot.
Aside from the shitty plot, the movie was boring and had nothing impressive although it had an amazing cast, i mean to think that an entire cast made of A-Listers can't make a movie interesting is really depressing.
So the movie was below average for 1 and a half hour And then comes the last 30 minutes.
I can safely say that the last 30 minutes had more twists than all M. night shyamalan movies combined, and that's saying something.
Every scene in that half hour was a twist to another scene, it was completely ridiculous, you watch a scene, pause 5 minutes to understand it and then continue to another scene (to another twist) and if you're thinking that that is impressive then you're absolutely wrong, at least with shyamalan movies, there are clues throughout the scenes that you can watch again in order for the twist to make sense, but here, nothing makes any sense, so many plot mistakes until it reached borderline stupidity.
If the crew was so damn smart that they did all these things, then why this movie exists? shouldn't the plot be how to escape paying Terry the money? why bother doing all these jobs for the sake of returning the money? what sense does that makes?
I think that Steven Soderbergh was trying so hard to impress fans, that he end up escaping a maze into another maze making the movie almost unwatchable.
The fact that i gave this movie a 6 out of 10 (very high score compared to the movie) is because i loved the cast, without them the movie is unwatchable.

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Posted : 8 years ago on 26 July 2014 01:38 (A review of Smokin' Aces)

I'm not familiar with the director, but i'm guessing he was trying to mimic martin scorsese in the way that the story was narrated in many characters and each character was finishing what the others said, frankly, the first 15 minutes were too much to handle, even though the plot eventually was simple to understand but the narration made it so hard.
I don't think that the action was spectacular like what people are saying, i mean it wasn't bad and wasn't impressive either, the major flop here is the miss-casting, i mean seriously Alicia Keys, Jeremy Piven, Common and Taraji P. Henson?
At what point did the casting people imagined Jeremy Piven will fit the role of a wizard and a playful smart gangster who have enough balls to become an Informat ? i mean seriously his performance was absolute shit and the dialog they gave him didn't help him either, it made him look stupider, and there was some confusing shots that they director took in the bathroom scene with Jeremy Piven, not to sound homophobic but if you really think about it, it would seem that the director was having a thing for Jeremy Piven.
Also Chris Pine playing a badass? seriously ? that guy is cute, that's the word that describe him perfectly, how does being a badass makes him believable?
Also what's wrong with the screen play, so many shitty dialog that made this movie completely ridiculous.
And why in the world would anyone thinks that Alicia Keys and Taraji P. Henson playing as assassins is a good idea, they can't act for shit, their dialog seemed unintentionally hilarious.
Worst thing about this movie is it's "humor", the scene when that guy entered the old women bathroom and found a dildo was anti-funny, inappropriate and out of place, and let's not forget that weird kid with his karate moves, did the director thinks that was funny? seriously if this is comedy then we're completely doomed.
The only thing that lift this movie a little bit is the great performance by Ryan Reynolds, few action and few effects and the end.
I liked the end, i don't know why, maybe because it was unexpected and the soundtrack made it really good, aside from that there isn't anything special about this movie.

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Posted : 8 years ago on 25 July 2014 10:52 (A review of TPB AFK: The Pirate Bay Away from Keyboard)

Whoever supported this "documentary" and kept giving it a positive feed back have no idea what's going on, in reality this isn't a documentary, it's more like a dairy entry into three guys live.
If you want to know these guys and what type of life they have then this is it and i'm not saying something here because it's shown by the title, The Pirate bay away from keyboard, what i don't understand is why these guys Peter,Fredrik and Gottfrid supported this, they are in constant fight against the big 6 and copyright claims and they try to tell people that their website is about file sharing/hosting and that they aren't responsible for the files they host.
But this "documentary" showed too many things that the public didn't have to know, they mentioned the name of every company that supported them, even though they didn't show the secret locations of their servers but they mentioned the name of the company that let them use their servers, which is a mistake because in order for them to keep the website, they have to encrypt these information's and not to show them to the public.
Aside from that, they showed characteristic mistakes and inside problems between the three people, now we all know that Fredrik is drunk all the time, Gottfrid doesn't give a fuck about what's going on and have a special life, Peter is the one that putting all the group together, they even showed Peter bashing the other guys and accuse them of not caring, i personally didn't need to see that and i don't understand the overall support of this because there's too many things wrong with this film, i mean they shared the film publicly on their website for everyone to see for free.
They also exposed the fact that Wikileaks pay them to host their files, because you know, The pirate bay isn't scandalous enough so they hosted other scandalous website.

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Not interesting.

Posted : 8 years, 1 month ago on 12 July 2014 11:02 (A review of The Informant!)

This movie starts with a disclaimer "Although the movie is based on true events but some of them are dramatized".
And i was thinking, this is the worst way to start a movie, i mean we all know that the default status of movies based on true events are dramatized, so you don't have to reminds us of that, it's like saying, "hey, you know what, not all of the events in this movie are real", i'm like "what the fuck i'm watching it for?".
Anyway let's just ignore this, i'm coming back to it later.
This movie is based on a book, and it's a reminder also that not all books should be adapted into a motion picture, reason being is that this movie isn't interesting in the slightest, the story is so boring and the characters are so dull, and there's also a confusing narration done by Matt Damon, the reason why it's confusing because it has absolutely nothing to do with what's happening in the movie, it's like random trivia, i'll give you an example, Matt Damon was meeting a bunch of Japanese for a business and here's the narration during the scene "I like my hands, i think it's the best part of my body, i really think that my hands improve my social skills, also my eye contact" and i was like "What the fuck is that have to do with anything?".
I actually thought that (for the first hour and a half) Steven Soderbergh
realize the movie was boring so he decided to install these random narrations to make it better.
Actual Review
It's the story of Mark Whitacre, a bio-chemist (or something like that) and he works for a lysine developing company called ADM, and he make up a lie about a Japanese guy blackmailing him for 10 millions (The Japanese guy knows how to destroy a virus that ADM have), the reason why Mark is making this thing up is because he want's the money, so ADM decided not to trust him and hire FBI agents to investigate, and then Mark starts working for the FBI (Voluntary) for 3 years with no pressure from the FBI, Mark start Exposing ADM secrets and fraud and the fact that they raise prices in the U.S by cooperating with other competitive companies (called price fixing), and Mark actually think that because he's exposing the company he works for, the FBI will appreciate that and will make him CEO of ADM because he's the good guy, even though he participate in these practices (price fixing is illegal).

So after a really, really long 1 and a half hours, you start realizing that Mark is really, really stupid, i mean he can't be serious, he thinks ADM is not going to fire him and he's going to be CEO, so you start thinking that this movie is unbelievable, because no-one can be that stupid, but then you remember a disclaimer at the beginning of the movie saying that the movie is dramatized, so you start wondering, why i'm watching this? this seems unrealistic and i'm not having fun at all, that's why i said that this movie is very boring, the only thing that lift this movie is the incredible performance by Matt Damon, that's it.

Turn out that everything Mark says is a lie, and he's bipolar and involved in so many frauds and embezzlement that even the FBI turn their back on him and sue him along with ADM, and he end up spending 9 years in prison.

And the narration, is actually his Bi-polar disease speaking to him, which means that what he was saying is what he was thinking during these events, so how's that for a very long two hours?, i'll tell you, it was bad.

Normally i will go with 4 out of 10 but Matt Damon performance was awesome, and i'm not saying it's a terrible movie, i'm just saying that not all true stories should be adapted into motion pictures, take the movie 'Boy's don't cry' as an example, it is based on a true story but it was boring as hell, which is exactly like this.

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Posted : 8 years, 1 month ago on 9 July 2014 01:11 (A review of Boys Don't Cry)

Probably one of the most depressing movies i have ever seen, too bad it was based on a true story, otherwise i wouldn't put myself in that position if it weren't true.
And the fact that it's a depressing movie not only because it have a sad ending like most movies, it's a sad tale from start to finish, the events never picks up to be playful and funny, it's just sad.

It's a tale of Teena Brandon, a lesbian girl who decide to get a boy hair cut, stuff her jeans with a pair of socks and compress her breast against her body so she can look like a boy, she decide to reverse her name to Brandon Teena and go out to bars and meet girls, she's also a felon, she's involved in grand theft auto and have a big court date waiting, she stays with her friend in his house and hoping to make enough money to get a sex change operation.

After having sex with a girl in her town, the girl's brothers chase her to her friend house, so her friend kicks her out for keep getting him in troubles, so she meets a girl that takes her to Falls city to meet her friends, so she stays there for couple of weeks and fall in love with Lana Tisdel, so since she fell in love, she decided not to go to her city and stays here, so she missed the court date, and the police issue a warrant for her arrest, so Lana Tisdel visited her in jail and found out that she was in women jail, so Teena tell her that she has a sexual identity crisis but Lana doesn't care so she takes her out of the jail, things evolve and Lana friends -John and Tom- find out that Teena is a girl pretending to be a guy, so they take her and rape her and tell her not to tell, otherwise they kill her, so Lana takes her to the police station and report the crime, so John and Tom go to the house she stayed in and kill her.

Two things i don't get, one: why after John and Tom raped her, she didn't run away and went back to her city, and Two: why John and Tom weren't arrested when Teena reported them to the police.

These things are kinda confusing but they say that "Truth is stranger than fiction" so i think she was naive and that got her killed, or she felt that she doesn't have a place to go, either way it's a depressing movie that makes you feel bad about everything.

One thing i have to mention is the amazing portrayal of Teena Brandon by Hilary Swank, not only the physical look but also the way she walked, talked and everything, i lost all my sexual fantasies when i saw her in that state and i also felt uncomfortable watching the many sex scenes that happened which is kinda why the movie score so low with me.

I've seen too many movies about real life stories of people getting killed, but i never felt so depressed, the reason why, because at least most of those people had an interesting life (or at least the movies made them interesting), here the director isn't even trying to make you entertained, it's like "hey, here you go, these are the facts, deal with them" so i really don't recommend to anyone to watch this movie, unless they really have to.

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Surprisingly Hilarious.

Posted : 8 years, 1 month ago on 5 July 2014 11:15 (A review of I Love You, Man)

A movie where the premise is lame but the execution was perfect.
i actually thought that i'm in for a silly movie but end up having a blast, the premise was simple, a man (Paul Rudd) is going to get married but have no man friends at all, he don't even have one friend, he have only girlfriends and he went from one relationship to another and end up engaged, so he hear his wife making fun of him with her friends saying "i think his best friend is his mom", so he decided to go out with few guys to find a friend, that's the entire plot, but Paul rudd performance along with Jason Segel makes this movie very funny, their connection and relationship felt real and genuine, and it was weird when it should be weird and funny when it should be funny, i don't think the movie actually missed a spot, that's why the execution is perfect, and let's not forget that it's John Hamburg debut movie as a director, he used to be Co-writer for famous movies like meet the parents and meet the fockers but this is his first time directing and it was really good.
One thing i have to point out is the secondary characters which contribute nothing to the movie at all, their were just there to fill the spot and that it, but the movie was good overall and makes you smile all the way.

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Posted : 8 years, 1 month ago on 3 July 2014 07:09 (A review of Elysium)

I went into this one thinking "man, i'm going to get disappointed", i mean the movie have 6.7 on IMDb and that's not good, and then i spent the first hour of the movie not believing my eyes, the movie was spectacular, the cinematography, the soundtrack, cars, the fact that major cities have been destroyed by pollution and life on earth now is matter of time, the fact that most people now on earth have a criminal record, tattoos, Spanish speaking people people in Los angeles shows that those people drifted from south america because the living might be impossible where they came from, the whole cities where torn down and it looked amazing.

What bugged me was the terrible flat performance of William Fichtner, i mean he's not even trying to act, it's like "hey, is that my line? so i just look at the camera and say it?", also a terrible fucking performance by the incredible actress Jodie Foster, she was so fucking misplaced in this movie and had a terrible accent that come and goes depending on the scene, but that didn't bother me that much because they both get killed and they don't have much screen time.

It's really an entertaining movie, i loved Elysium, it's quite, filled with rich people and big houses and i really loved earth, every scene on earth was a blast for me, we've all seen movies about future and it's all about technology, only Elysium and 'children of men' decided to focus on realistic things like pollution.

Some plot mistake here and there, Spider which is a criminal decided to steal information from John Carlyle mind in order to hack into Elysium and controls it, but end up allowing all earth people to go to Elysium and get treatment, but isn't that gonna get him out of job and destroy everything he did? i mean he's a bad guy suddenly turn into a good guy which kinda cliche.

Also the fact that Elysium have no automatic missile launchers that will strike any unlicensed vehicle that decide to land, also where was the soldier robots when spider decided to land on Elysium to hack it, suddenly because Delacourt (Jodie Foster) wasn't sitting in-front of the screen, there wasn't anybody to do her job and warn people about an upcoming vehicle?

Matt Damon performance was spectacular ,also Sharlto Copley performance which was surprisingly good, that's why this movie deserve more recognition and a sold 7 from me, Neill Blomkamp did it again, first with District 8 and now with Elysium, and i liked Elysium more because of Matt Damon.

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Posted : 8 years, 2 months ago on 18 June 2014 07:53 (A review of It's a Wonderful Life)

The thing people nowadays don't get about Classics like this one is the fact that they last forever.
If you are used to watch movies from the 20th century (in general) they are flat and have no depth, there is no doubt that you'll enjoy them but that's that, you will forget them the minutes they're over.

And that's what makes this movie beautiful, aside from the beautiful performances and beautiful story, there's a great moral behind it, it gives you new meanings every time you think about it.

James Stewart is an awesome actor, the fact that he played a character that was supposed to be 27 years old while he was actually 10 years older really shows his performance.

And there isn't much to say about this movie other than the fact that it was beautiful and had a great moral behind it, That your life matters even if you don't feel that way, but you are connected to so many people and have so much influence on the environment around you that people around you won't be the same if you weren't there.

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Posted : 8 years, 2 months ago on 17 June 2014 01:33 (A review of Mulholland Drive)

I might be the only person who will start by saying that this movie was terrible.

The movie starts OK, with some great acting and good amount of tension,sometimes slow,sometimes boring and that's about 120 minutes of the movie.

if i haven't seen the last 20 minutes i will give this movie a 6 out of 10 because it was slow and there wasn't any score at all, the high point of the movie was the silent theater with Rebekah Del Rio singing 'Crying' which was beautiful, i first heard that exact same song at the last episode of Prison break -season 3- and without any doubt this is the best scene of the movie.

***The Last 20 Minutes***

The reason for this to be a disturbing movie is because of the bizarre shift in tone that happened, the first 120 minutes was very normal and to see that last 20 minutes was like "did i accidentally switched to another movie", you get some weird short scenes that you'd think you will get an explanation for at the end but it never happen, so much confusing things happened at the last 20 minutes that you have no idea what the fuck is going on.

So you realize that you have to watch it again to understand everything, but i didn't want to put myself in the same boring and bizarre spot again so i read a blog about what happening and that pissed me off more when i understood everything.

Here it goes ***(Spoiler)***

the first 120 minutes never happened, it was just a dream to confuse you that you are watching the movie and following the plot

but you can actually (technically) remove the entire 2 hours and you get the same result, Naomi Watts name was Betty Elms not Diane Selwyn, and shes in-love with Rita (played by Laura Harring) and Rita tried to break-up with Betty so after that love scene on the couch, she told betty that we shouldn't do that again, but betty refused so rita invited her to a party when the director was there and her mother was there and she was kissing the director in-front of betty just to piss her off, so betty decide to hire a man who will kill rita and he told her that once the operation is done, you will see a key on the table (that's when a girl knock out the door and came to pick her box of stuff).

so to sum it up, the entire movie was 20 minutes long and you don't even get to understand that the first time due to the amount of bizarreness and the irrelevant structure of the movie which confuse you because you will try to connect things but it doesn't work.

and even when you understand the movie, it still confusing because the cowboy guy was pointless and irrelevant and same-thing goes for the two guys at the restaurant in the beginning of the movie which is why pissed me off because David Lynch tried to confuse people into thinking that this movie is mind-bowing but it certainly wasn't, I've seen mind-blowing movies like Donnie Darko were even at the end of the movie nothing was explained but you can still explain it if you just think about it and everything was there for a reason (which means that everything you see benefits to the plot), but here if you think about this movie you'll get angry because everything was random and pointless and the story was too fucking short for 140 minutes movie.

That's it i'm done this movie was TERRIBLE.

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Posted : 8 years, 2 months ago on 15 June 2014 10:13 (A review of Kick-Ass)

I'm pretty sure that "confusing" is not the word you were expecting to read in a review about a comic movie but it is the best way to describe this.

The movie starts innocently with a guy thinking about becoming a super hero, the beginning of the movie was funny and perfectly well executed when you take a look at the guy's everyday's life but then a few scenes later and you get the feeling that this movie is kinda violent, but that's ok right? movies are violent.

But after a while, you're like, waw, this is a little girl killing men and playing with knifes and saying fucked up things, i mean don't get me wrong, it was funny at first, hearing that shit from a 12 year old girl but not for so long.

And then Christopher Mintz-Plasse happen, which is the worst thing about this movie, he's absolutely terrible and at some points during the movie you realize that it's kinda naive to see those people who have normal life just like us can do these things and kill people and that what pissed me off, this movie take a naive approach to murder, it's like killing someone violently but in a comic way.

And some fight scenes were incredibly stupid, specially at the end when Aaron Taylor-Johnson, the guy with a low self-esteem and a normal life, wears a fly-jacket (i don't know what it's called) and a machine gun and start killing people, same thing goes to Christopher Mintz-Plasse when he shot that little girl directly in the chest, i mean these people shouldn't be able to do these things, and the fact that they are doing crimes and killing people is very stupid.

The movie score was beautiful and the movie have high production value and looks awesome and perfectly well executed but these naive things make's it confusing.

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